Faith's blog

its 2022 2 or the third week and I am struggling with it. to be honest it 2021 wasn’t rainbows or joy because I really had a hard time facing it. Now I’m just gonna keep my faith and keep going. God will lead my way.

dark empty places, where am I gonna be. People are changing, but why I am still me.

crowed places till I lose my insanity. wanted to stay stable but I’m crumbling away. thought I could handle, but I was wrong.

For a moment of time i really thought I was happy. but I was not. tried my best to comprehend but nothing is in my head. got pressure all around me that marks me to what it now.

want to stand but I feel that i cant walk, feel likes everything just came crashing down, till i black out. was it all worth it. maybe? because i was given a second chance to live in this life. but its really hard now.

I just want this to be greater then before. So ill keep fighting my battles.

7 months of 2021 and it wasn't easy. I'm not that satisfied of somethings and happy with things too. I'm happy with friends that surround me, but sometime and today I feel quite dizzy about it. Honestly speaking people can effect us, You don't even know. its not the fist time I felt the change inside of me.  heck i made one person feel hurt because of my actions. but had my reasons for it. i just want to make things clear but it didn't work to the point, I just left.in 2 months i felt free but why suddenly sometimes you were inside my head. a lot of things figured but I'm still confused with it. trying to keep it up but sometimes I just wanna give up. I am happy of my results and ill keep working. help. I'm tied.       

Maybe I made my choice, or not? What if I made the right route or not? what if life is not easy going? There is a lot of things I’m still finding for. Thing that even I cant and trying to comprehend. For everybody who is reading this, I’m not perfect and I wanted to show that everything will be okay. but it’s not. Had my hard times and I’m still facing it. I just wanted to be the light in everybody but now I realize that I can’t help everybody. I’m trying to be the strong faith that everybody sees me. but I’m also human ,I break down and now currently speaking, it is happening in this year 2021 where is a brand new year but I break down the most. But you know I cant just let it go so I’ll fight it. because there is a little voice that burst into my heart that I can’t just give up.

There is a lot of things we want to accomplish in life. We want to do things perfectly as possible. Good ones for sure. You work you hardest to hit that goal of yours but you realize that your stuck. I felt it too until now, I’m still in this stage where I am still finding what I want in life. The right future for me. In all honesty I wanted to give up and life just move me then I move myself. I was in the state of crying everyday because I thought it was so hard for me. But overcame it. it was hard for me and I know it will be harder in the next journey of my life. For you, your facing more hard and difficult things, I may not know about your life journey and what situation you are dealing with but I wanna apply to you that you’re not alone in this battle. Always stay strong even if it is so tiredly draining. I know you can face it. If you need help, don’t shy away and stand your ground. Because you are strong in anyway shape or form.

A question mark. it’s something that people always have when there are uncertain, unknowable. like how can you find the answer if you don’t have any clue. You’re confused with a question in the paper and you just blank of. its just like life, you’re surrounded with question in your head that cant be answered right away. You’ll get frustrated and annoyed for the things that you are not capable to do. For a year and a half I thought I was the only one that was having a hard time facing life. I didn’t thought about how I affected people around me. Now I’m a little older and I think about things more more bigger then I thought about last time. There is more difficulties and pressure that I’m facing but I realize that whatever you’re facing right now just remember do not give up. Be always positive even if it’s so hard for you. I’m not perfect with words or people in general, but I just want you to know that you are are perfect in own ways. show of your flaws because that is who you are.

Life is a lie. They say life will be easy just take baby steps. But what if you’re  so tired from everything and just don’t do anything. What if I’m so tired of all heartbreaks and disappointments and you just want to give up. What if you have a reason to live again, but its not going your way. I’m literally very tired  form everything…..

What if you’re extremely tired showing  yourselves and others a good and nice girl.  I feel sorry for myself last Time but now I feel numb and feel nothing to myself. What if you’re so done with your friends. This is me now. Numb.

Family is really important. They love you unconditionally even if they are not showing it, they love you. They will fight but in the end the day it will be alright! Family are your first priority and the last. Sometimes you as a person feels very disappointed but your family will always cheer you up make you laugh and you will forget about your disappointment. So you have something heavy cos of your family just remember they will still love you!